Happiness: Truth or Myth? Part 3
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In this final week of Happiness – Truth or Myth, we uncover the truth about finding happiness.
Here's a brief recap to remind you of the past two articles.
Please do go back and read them if you haven't yet: Happiness: Truth or Myth Part 1 & 2.
It can be said that we seek happiness in one of four ways.
1. Future Oriented – the future is your prime goal without appreciation of the present.
2. Present Oriented – the present is your only goal to avoid pain.
3. Past Oriented – your past failures determine your outlook on happiness.
4. Happiness Oriented – the possibility that it might even exist.
Let's unpick the final mindset that when positively implemented can result in happiness that ultimately serves you.
Happiness Oriented
Having determined that at some point on your life journey you might find yourself in a mindset that's either Future, Present or Past Oriented, what if there's a way to connect with both future and present beliefs resulting in a new way of thinking and being?
And unfocused on the distortions of the past?
Have you ever considered that the true reason the negative Past Oriented belief exists might only be because there’s an absence of connection between the Future and Present Oriented beliefs?
I mean, they seem to exist in isolation of each other don't they, with no synthesis at all?
It's like it has to be either future or present.
So, what if, rather than focusing on an ‘or’ curiosity, you focused on an ‘and' one instead?
Stay with me at the back... I’ve got you!
Have you ever been in a decision-making dilemma where you're weighing up an either/or to determine your outcome?
For example, “Should I take the job or go to university?”
“Should I invest my savings in a property or blow it on a much desired round the world experience?”
“Should I be happy now or in the future?”
Well, what if you tweaked the question and simply asked yourself, “How can I be happy now and in the future?”
Over the past couple of years, understanding and implementing this has been a game changer for me.
Realising and deciding that as much as I have the gift of choice, this is the one place I can explore having both without having to choose between them.
In fact, that's the choice. To have both.
I've learnt that it's not necessarily about having them both at the same time either.
Time is relative and even though we all have the same amount of time, I've realised that I can choose what time means to me and how I spend it.
So now, rather than wonder and feel anxious about whether the professional seeds I sow now will bear fruit in the future, I simply sow the seeds no matter what because I just love the act and art of sowing.
I’m living and taking action in this moment and investing in the future at the same time.
The same applies to my personal life too.
I'm learning to trust, as in nature that by tilling the soil (preparation), sowing the seeds (taking action) and watering/feeding my crop daily (nurturing and staying connected) I WILL bear fruit.
It's the law of nature and as I learn to respect it, it rewards me with an abundance of appreciation and gifts.
How magical but true!
And that's why I'm so keen to share this learning with you.
That life isn’t just about the past, present or future.
It's about what we CHOOSE to focus on with the knowledge and understanding of what that choice will bring.
So, how can you convert your ‘or’ mindset to an ‘and’ one?
What would the impact on your happiness be if you did?
Could that impact your future and those around you?
What might change?
I really reckon it could be mind blowing if you chose to take it on.
Happiness isn't always about smiling and feeling great because some days you just don't choose to.
Plus, you need the resistance and challenges in life to appreciate the slack.
As humans we are intrinsically designed to soar towards the highest goal of all: happiness.
Like dandelions covered over with concrete, we'll naturally want to veer towards the light.
Unfortunately, along the way we may encounter many distortions, untruths, misconceptions and warped interpretations of what happiness is that may cause us to find a different path.
Fortunately, it's not the only path and when you're ready you'll discover that happiness is about feeling positive emotions in the present moment (pleasure) and taking action with purpose for future benefit (meaning).
“Pleasure + Meaning = Happiness”
Whats yours?
Final Words & Action Plan
Your happiness can be lasting when you live in the moment on your way to the destination.
It's not an either/or.
But it’s definitely all about pleasure and meaning.
So, let's take a minute to discover how you can start to cultivate your happiness?
Perhaps journaling might help to reflect on your experiences of living in a Future (Rat Racer), Present (Hedonist) or Past (Nihilist) Oriented life.
What if you journaled and considered your learnings from each oriented belief, the prices you paid, the benefits, your deepest feelings and thoughts at the time or now?
What if you challenged why you were/are living that way?
And when you're journaling, what if you journaled only for you but shared with another if wanted?
Would that give you space to be brutally honest with yourself?
I invite you to explore it.
To support this cultivation, why not incorporate this short meditation practice that I've created for before or after journaling.
Cultivating Happiness Meditation
Find a quiet and uninterrupted place to meditate.
Sit or lie comfortably to allow for both physical and mental space.
Either close your eyes or keep them open bringing awareness to your breath.
Breathe in the word “Calm” and breathe out anything that's not serving you.
Mentally scan your body and observe the areas of tension.
Breathe in to create space saying “Calm" and exhale to let go and soften.
Continue this for 5 – 20 minutes in stillness.
Maintaining your breath awareness, bring to mind a positive experience where the emotion felt really good and brought you joy.
For example, it might be time spent with loved ones, connecting with a pet or a time you thrived.
Re-live this experience for between 30 seconds and 5 minutes, allowing the positive emotions to wash over you and grow.
Be in your body, solely focusing on the sensations as it responds.
When it feels right, invite a closing to your practice by offering yourself a Possibility Mantra like: “Today, I am the possibility of ......”
For example, “Today, I am the possibility of ...... ....happiness/pleasure/joy/sharing/love/productivity/focus/commitment/fun/listening/self expression.”
Choose as many as you wish or add your own.
Complete the sentence with what has meaning to you in the moment.
Finally close your meditation with a slow, long exhalation to internally cleanse and seal your practice.
Before you leave, consider offering gratitude and love to yourself and others.
Practice this meditation daily or as often as possible.
Why not consider recording the meditation on your phone to enhance the experience?
My wish for you is that you find your definition of happiness on your own terms, in your own way and in your own sweet time guided by love, joy, compassion and hope.
Namaste. Xx