Be Kind to Yourself
/
I have a couple of questions for you.
Can you accept that you can't control others or the world around you; can you accept that you can control yourself?
My learnings as a psychotherapist/coach together with my personal experiences have shown me that there’s one sure trait that can help us make peace with what we can control.
I’m talking about the trait of self acceptance.
Self acceptance is the ability to accept all of your personality traits - warts and all with no exceptions. It’s a reminder that you’re human. When you can accept yourself, you can be more accepting of others and less critical of the world around you.
There’s a an ability to cultivate self compassion with this because as you navigate life, you'll make mistakes and struggle along the way. If you can accept what’s happened then the desire to change it can make space for your heart to soften naturally with compassion.
So how do you start this journey if you haven’t been given the tools? How do you make change to generate a deeper understanding of compassion for future resilience?
Below are some action tools that you can start to implement from today to assist you in practicing self acceptance and ultimately cultivate self compassion and resilience.
3 Ways to Practice Self Acceptance through Compassion and Resilience Building
Implement random acts of kindness into your everyday life. For example, helping someone while you're out and about, giving someone a hug or smiling at a stranger.
Look for the commonalities that exist between you and those you share space with. This can help you to move further away from any differences.
Celebrate your successes both big and small to become more aware of how insignificant quantity can be. Consider the impact of focusing on the qualities of life.
One of your human needs is contribution. Your desire to be of service and support another will show itself at difference stages of your life and how you live your life will be determined by it.
When you give to others, you cultivate the compassion and acceptance of the moment, in the moment. Tony Robbins and his team say,
The secret to living is giving… life supports that which improves the quality of life*
So, if you’d like to strengthen your need for contribution, here are x ways to do so building the trait of self acceptance. When you can see the evidence of how you serve others, it can reinforce your ability to accept even when you feel challenged to do so.
6 Ways to Build Self Acceptance Through Contribution
As humans, we experience days when we need or want support. How can you be perceptive to this in another’s time of need and make yourself available?
If emotional support becomes evident, what opportunities might there be for you to respectfully include and offer light touch? An example of this can be on the shoulder or back. It can really offer feelings of reassurance plus demonstrate that you care.
Don’t be afraid to share your own emotional expressions in response to another persons. This can be as simple as sincerely smiling at them which can demonstrate your concern and confirm that you acknowledge their pain. Be sensitive in the moment.
Check in with what’s needed and be available for them. Talking might not be how they want you to show up so how can you be sensitive to this? If you observe that a shared emotion feels appropriate then why not laugh or cry with them in the moment?
If talking is appropriate then take time to pay attention to what you say. Being compassionate with others is about paying attention to the present moment with an attitude of kindness. You don’t need to wait for a crisis to be compassionate though.
This might seem obvious here but don’t forget to turn your phone off or put it away tech that could interfere with the moment when supporting others.
Take some time after the moment to reflect on your contribution. Be kind to yourself as you do this and bring awareness to the fact that you can only offer what you presently know and possess. If you observe limitations, accept this and decide how you’d like to address it.
In order to develop self acceptance and kindness, I believe that you must accept the fact that as a human being, you are susceptible to error. From your childhood years and like an aeroplane that course corrects en route, you are naturally evolving everyday.
Why not give yourself the gift of grace and love in reminding yourself that you are no different. And that is OK.