Breaking the Cycle: Why We Perpetuate Our Suffering
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Breaking the Cycle: Why We Perpetuate Our Suffering
Suffering is part of being human. But perpetuating our suffering—that’s something we often do without realising it.
As creatives, we live close to our inner worlds. We draw from emotion, memory and meaning to shape what we make. But that closeness can sometimes become a trap. We get caught in loops of thought, in habits of self-blame, in stories that repeat long after their truth has faded.
So the question becomes: Are we in pain, or are we keeping pain alive through our response to it?
The Difference Between Pain and Suffering
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
This phrase, often associated with Buddhist teachings, invites us to see that while pain may arise through loss, fear or failure, suffering is what happens when we resist, attach or identify with that pain. It’s the mental and emotional looping that amplifies distress long after the original moment has passed.
Pain says: “This is hard.”
Suffering says: “This shouldn’t be happening.”
Pain says: “I feel hurt.”
Suffering says: “This always happens to me.”
In creative life, this might look like internal narratives that follow rejection: I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed. What’s the point?
The story becomes louder than the truth. The emotion becomes more about the story than the present.
Why Do We Perpetuate It?
Because it feels familiar. Because it gives us something to hold. Because somewhere along the way, our suffering became a shape we knew how to carry.
Sometimes we cling to suffering because:
It keeps us from taking risks
It protects us from disappointment
It validates our identity or past experience
It gives us a false sense of control
But this familiar suffering costs us. It dulls our creativity. It dims our connection to others. And it interrupts the clarity we need to live and work with purpose.
A Somatic Lens on Suffering
The body doesn’t lie. It often holds suffering long after the mind has moved on. Tight shoulders, clenched jaws, shallow breath—these are signs of holding.
Suffering can live in the nervous system as a patterned response. That means change doesn’t begin in the mind alone—it begins in the body.
When you notice yourself suffering, pause. Breathe. Bring awareness to where the sensation lives. Place a hand there. Soften. Ask gently: What am I still holding? What am I ready to let go of?
The SHIFT Method: A Way Through
To support your journey out of suffering, consider the SHIFT method—an acronym for navigating those looping moments with compassion and intention:
S – Stop and Breathe
Create space. Even a single breath can interrupt the momentum of a spiralling thought.
H – Hear the Story
What are you telling yourself? Listen without judgement. Simply notice the narrative.
I – Inquire Gently
Is it true? Is it helpful? Is there another way to see this? Let your curiosity lead, not your critic.
F – Feel and Release
Let the emotion rise. Let it move through. Cry. Move. Journal. Breathe again. Trust that it will pass.
T – Turn Toward the Present
Come back to now. Ground yourself through sensation, breath or a small act of care. Ask: What matters most in this moment?
This practice doesn’t make you immune to pain. But it reminds you that suffering isn’t the only option. That you have choice. That you are not powerless in your own story.
In Closing
You don’t need to disown your pain. You just don’t need to live inside it forever.
You are not behind. You are right on time.
Each time you step out of suffering and into presence, you reclaim energy for living, loving and creating. And that choice, made quietly and consistently, becomes a radical act of self-liberation.